Thursday, April 24, 2014

Sometimes we just need to pray...

Yesterday I received some very awful news. A very close friends father passed away after having a heart attack on Easter. He went peacefully, and that is all anyone could ever ask for. I'm thankful that his family didn't have to make any difficult decisions and that God made the decision for them. He will be happier up in Heaven. After having a stroke about three years ago, he was left wheelchair bound and couldn't talk very well. That didn't mean that he didn't know how to get his point across. When he wanted you to know something, he KNEW how to get you to figure it out. Though I never met him before he had his stroke, I believe we had some unspoken way of communicating. Somehow, I knew what he wanted, and somehow, he knew how to get it across to me. I was so afraid that he wouldn't accept me into their family, and that I wouldn't even know if he accepted me at all. As I look back now, I remember all of his smirks at the little dumb things I would do or say. The way he threw his hands up in the air when my friend and his mom left me hanging onto the Christmas tree and said, "sheesh!" because he was mad at them for leaving me. Even the way he hummed the Jeopardy tune when we went out to eat one time because we all couldn't decide if we wanted appetizers or not. I know he will be happier up there. I have not prayed in a very long time, and I have not given God a second thought. After last night however, I prayed. I prayed for the safety of my friends family. That their broken hearts heal and they remember the good times they had. I prayed that my friends dad was in a better place. Cheering and cursing the Cincinnati Reds and the Buffalo Bills from up above. I have never wanted happiness and forgiveness as much as I did last night. Lastly, I prayed to my friends dad. I prayed that he would forgive me for what I did yesterday, and that he would help me heal, just as much as he would help his own family heal.

Yesterday made me realize that I shouldn't cut people I love out of my life. That life can change in an instant, and that even though we may feel like we are in control of our own lives, someone else has control over us. Fate. I decided I was done cutting people out of my life, and I was going to start living and start making not only myself proud, but those around me proud.

R.I.P. Mr. Breig. You were a joy to get to know, and I am so very happy you have touched my heart.


Monday, April 14, 2014

Bucket list= Challenge for myself

I've decided to make a short term and a long term bucket list for myself. I need a challenge, and I want to accomplish things in my life. I want to enjoy life and not just let it pass me by. So here it goes:

Short Term Bucket List (1-2 years)
1. Gain the balls to give a guy my number ( on the fly)
2. Learn to dance and not get embarrassed
3. Gain confidence in who I am as a person
4. Move out on my own
5. Love the skin I'm in
6. Have a big bonfire or attend one
7. Experience being drunk ( I'm 22, I'd rather find out now than later. It's acceptable at my age...right?)
8. Get back to UC main campus
9. Attend a party on campus
10. Go to a Reds game
11. Go to the beach
12. Travel more on my own
13. Graduate college
14. Dress up and go to school
15. Go to Disney world

Long Term Bucket List (3-10 years)
1. Find a big girl job
2. Travel the world
      -Greece, Italy,Australia, England, Ireland, Germany, Peru
3. Move out of state
4. Get married
5. Have children- preferably 4 (2 of each, duh)
6. Own my own house
7. Go on a cruise
8. Adopt an animal
9. Own a horse
10. Go cliff jumping
11. Ride an elephant
12. Go scuba diving
13. See the Great Barrier Reef
14. Own a salt water aquarium
15. Swim with dolphins
16. Watch sea turtles hatch
17. Meet the other two Jonas Brothers
18. See NSYNC make a comeback and attend
19. Buy an amazing SLR Camera
20. Own a photography business on the side
21. Sell a photograph I've taken
22. Write a story of some sort