How do you know?

How do you know who is going to be your soulmate in life? How do you know who the right person is for you? These are two of many questions running through my mind right now.

I've decided to tell my now ex boyfriend that I cannot communicate with him until after the holidays. Why? Because I'm hurt. More than I am letting on to be. Talking to him just gives me hope that something will change his mind. That maybe he will believe that he made a mistake and beg me to come back.  I cannot go on like this. I need to learn to live on my own. Find myself, and who I. Want to be. I need to remember who I was before dating him. What I wanted out of life and what I want in a future relationship with someone else. It may take me a lot of time to figure that out, but it's what is necessary.

First of all. Who was I before? I was a delicate, quiet person to strangers, and a loving friend to many.   How did I change? I became able to trust men because of my ex. He helped me become more confident with my personality and in my body. I'm not afraid to stand up for myself anymore as I was before. I want to continue developing these traits as I grow older.

What am I looking for? An honest, chivalrous, sweet, kind, patient guy who will give me 110% of his love and attention. I deserve the best, and I should settle for no less. In the words of a close friend, we deserve to be treated as princesses, and she is absolutely right. Some day, my knight in shining armor will come clanging to my rescue when I least expect it. Hopefully, sooner than later, but I cannot rush true love.

My next few posts may be less uplifting, but who knows. I have got to take each day as it comes. If you're reading this and you're a close friend of mine who has been there for me all week, thank you. You're amazing, and I couldn't have gotten through this without you.

Moving on is tough, but necessary

So I realize I haven't been on here in well over a year. A lot has happened since then. For starters, my boyfriend of two years and I recently broke up. He decided he didn't see a future with me. Am I angry? Of course I am. I loved that man with everything I had. I would never ask someone to be with me if they weren't happy though. It's not worth it. Some day, I will find someone who treats me like a princess. Who is patient, kind, chivalrous, and can't go a day without me. He will put in 110% to our relationship. I cannot wait for that day to come. But for now, I need to grieve. For the next few day sum you might hear me wallow in self pity. It's okay. It's necessary. It's definitely okay to cry, and be upset. I've learned a lot and grown up so much in the past two years.

For now, this is goodbye. I will type tomorrow. I think it will be good for helping myself recover from a broken heart.